Finding Home
by Tear of Light
Summary: Lightning struggles to accept life after Cocoon's crystalization. The rest of the gang try to help her in their own way.  Set post game. *** WARNING: End Game Spoilers Included! ***
1. Will you be okay?

**Finding Home**

_**A/N**__: Hi everyone. This is my first attempt at a fanfiction, far-a-less a FFXIII fanfiction. I've tried to keep everyone in character, but there may be the occasional slip up as needed to fit with the story. Comments and reviews are much appreciated. Enjoy!_

_**November 1, 2010**__: I decided to change the story title from The Unspoken to Finding Home. I feel this is a much better description of the story to come._

_**Disclaimer:**__ There are end game spoilers included in this piece. If you don't like spoilers, don't read ahead._

_**Disclaimer**__: The characters and the worlds I write in do not belong to me. The stories that I write are intended for entertainment purposes. I do not make any money from them._

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*** ~ Chapter 1: Will you be okay? ~ ***

_Wake up._

There was not a day which passed by that she didn't think of them. Their laughter. Their life. Their sacrifice. How long had it been since that fateful day? The day that Cocoon fell from the sky and everything changed…

_This is as much as we can do. The rest is up to you._

Whether by quick thinking or pure devotion to their new family, Cocoon was saved, held high in the sky by a stem of crystal which wrapped around Cocoon like a closed rosebud. But that miracle was not without its sacrifices.

_When prayers turn to promises, not even fate can stand in their way._

Serah was saved. That was what she set out to do, right? Free her sister from the crystal bounds that held her. Free her from the hold of that wretched fal'Cie. But it had never occurred to Lighting the cost of it all.

"L-Lightning?"

"Hope!"

The silver haired boy held on for dear life, just a few branches below where she sat. Lightning was on watch at this very moment, high up in one of the taller trees that bordered New Oerba.

It took them months to get this far. When they defeated Orphan, and Cocoon dropped from the sky, the fal'Cie disappeared without a trace leaving the survivors confused and scared. Gran Pulse was now their home, and having always had the fal'Cie to provide everything for them, people were lost.

With no government to tell them what to do anymore, PSICOM and the Guard Corps merged together to create a single entity, the sole force of protection the survivors had against the beasts of Gran Pulse. Without the fal'Cie around anymore, anything magically inclined stopped working as well. That being almost everything. No one ever stopped to consider just how dependent they were on the fal'Cie, not until they were gone. Funny how that worked out.

"Hope! What are you doing down there?"

Hope laughed nervously looking up at the pink haired soldier. "It didn't look so bad from the ground" the boy said, gripping the tree trunk with a white knuckled grip. "But now that I'm up this far, it's just a bit scary. Hehehe…"

Lightning sighed.

The withdrawal of magic from their world was not immediate. They were able to use the transport carriers for another month or two before they were no longer operational. And even though their brands were gone, the former l'Cie could still tap into their magical abilities. But as time continued on, their abilities started to fade as well. They weren't completely gone yet, but it now took a lot more effort to summon them anytime they needed them. And soon, they would no longer be able to use magic at all.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" Lightning scolded the boy, but there was no malice in her voice.

"I was just coming up to tell you that dinner was ready" Hope said. He tried to inch up the tree a bit further but didn't get very far before he slipped down a foot and let out a yelp.

"Hope!"

Living up to her name, Lightning zipped down to Hope like a flash of lightning. She caught the boy by the wrist before he slipped any further, holding onto one of the upper branches with her free arm and balancing her feet vertical on the tree trunk.

"You really gotta show me your secret" Hope said in exasperation, an attempt to lighten the mood despite his current predicament. "Seriously. You scramble through the trees just as fast as a Cactuar scrambles away from you."

"I shall take that… as a compliment… I think…" Lightning grunted as she heaved her young charge up to a thick branch where they both were able to regain their footing and sit down. Had it been anyone else, she probably would have kicked them down the tree. The only exception to that would be Serah.

Hope held his chest hunched over and panting. "T-thanks…"

"Are you hurt?"

Silver locks swirled left and right as Hope shook his head. "I probably would have been if you didn't save me down there." The young one blushed in embarrassment.

Lightning gave her friend a half smile, something that happened more and more as of late. It was not something she openly admitted to anyone and they typically didn't show up around anyone except for Serah and now Hope. Though on occasion, it did make an appearance when Snow's back was turned.

"Looking up at Cocoon again?" Hope said, turning his gaze skywards. "I was shouting at you about dinner, but you didn't seem to hear me. That is why I started to climb up the tree in the first place."

The now crystallized Cocoon could be seen from pretty much anywhere on Gran Pulse. Taller and larger than the missing-in-action fal'Cie Titan, it was very hard to miss.

Lightning sighed inwardly. She had been caught. Turning her gaze upwards, her eyes settled on her former home once again. Hope glanced over to her, noticing the flicker of sadness in her eyes. But he said nothing. Something she was very thankful for. Aside from Serah, he seemed to be the only one who understood how she was feeling. The loneliness. The sorrow. The guilt.

She had saved Serah, her only blood relative left, yes. But in doing so, she had lost two members of her new family as well. Fang and Vanille. Surely there was something that she could have done differently. There must have been something she missed or overlooked or just… just… She didn't know. All she knew was that until Fang and Vanille came back to them, there would be this giant, unending void inside of her. But they would come back. They had to.

They had to…

"Light?"

Lightning snapped out of her thoughts and turned back to Hope. "Hmm?"

"They'll come back… Vanille and Fang … right?"

For a moment, all Lightning saw in Hope's eyes was despair. But he quickly squashed it and replaced it with a sad smile. She wasn't the only one hurting. Hope was missing them just as much as she was. Having grown up all alone, being passed back and forth between mother and father, Hope wasn't sure what a real family felt like. Not until he encountered Vanille did he truly understand the feeling of family.

The orange haired girl with pigtails was like a big sister he never had. The fact that she looked around his age and was five years his senior didn't change anything. At first, he wasn't too sure what to make of her. Bubbly. Seemingly ditzy. Though Fang did scare him quite a bit. But soon enough, before he even realized what happened, they were family. And never did he ever think they would be separated. Just like Lightning.

"Of course they will" Lightning said, a small tremble in her voice. "They just need some time. That's all…"

The normally stoic soldier forced a smile, hoping it enough to reassure the broken hearted boy. But was it really to reassure him, or was it to reassure herself?

"One of these days, when we're least expecting it, they'll show up. I'm sure of it."

"R-right…"

Lightning ruffled Hope's hair playfully. "Stop frowning Hope, it doesn't suit you."

"H-hey! Watch the hair!"

Lightning chuckled. "Since when did you become so vain?"

"I'm not" Hope said trying to bat away her hand, just as playfully.

"Oyyyyyyyyyyyyye!" came the sound of a third voice, much to Lightning's annoyance. "Sis, you up there?"

Lightning rolled her eyes. "I'm on watch Snow. What do you want?" Lightning peered over the edge of the branch they sat on, trying to spot the hooligan that was her future brother-in-law.

"Is Hope with you? Bartholomew is looking for him."

"Dad is?" Hope looked down at Snow also. Being so high up, Snow was about the size of his hand. "Oh fal'Cie! I forgot!"

Lightning raised an eyebrow at Hope.

"I was supposed to help Dad with gathering supplies when I got back. Oops..."

"You should head back then" Lightning said, putting a hand on his shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. "You don't want to keep him waiting now. He must have been worried if he sent that oaf to come find you." She nodded in Snow's direction.

"What was that?" Snow shouted. He heard the two say something, but he couldn't quite make out what.

"He's coming down" Lightning shouted almost immediately in return. She rolled her eyes again.

Hope chuckled.

"I still can't believe I gave Serah my blessings to married this guy…" Lightning mumbled to herself.

"Um Light?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you be okay?" Hope looked at his adopted mother of sorts, a deep concern in his eyes.

"I won't be up here too much lon-"

"No Light" Hope said reaching out to hold her hand. "That's not what I meant. Will _you_ be okay?"

Lightning initially stiffened, feeling Hope's gloved hand on her own. But she soon relaxed and mentally kicked herself. He was worried about her. The seemingly uncaring, disconnected-from-emotion mask she typically wore was slipping. Either that, or Hope had become damn good at reading her. Or maybe it was both. Whatever it was, he was worried about her.

Lighting put her free hand over his. "Don't worry about me Hope" she said. "I'll be alright. I just… I just need some time too…"

Hope nodded, seeming to understand what she meant. He squeezed her hand softly.

"Oyyyyyyyyye!" came the annoying voice again. "Hope! What's the matter buddy? You stuck up there or something?"

"If you're in such a rush for him to come down, why don't you climb up here and get him yourself?" Lightning growled back. Lightning removed her hand from Hope's.

Snow laughed. "If I was your size, I would. But I'm a little bigger than you and I don't think the tree could handle me." The large oaf that was Snow punched his right fist into his open left palm. A grin widened over his face as if he entertained Lightning's very suggestion.

"I don't think there's a lot of things that could handle you" Lighting muttered under her breath.

Hope smiled, having heard Lightning's remark.

That was Lightning for you.

"I'm coming!" the boy said, stopping any further yelling on Snow's part.

For a good few seconds afterwards, there was an awkward silence as both Lightning and Hope stared down at Snow.

"Umm Lightning…"

"You don't know how to get down, do you?"

"Ehehehe…" Hope scratched the back of his head wearily. "Not a clue."

Lightning sighed. This was going to be a long night.


	2. Aching Heart

**Finding Home**

_**A/N**__: And now for the second chapter! I've tried to keep everyone in character, but there may be the occasional slip up as needed to fit with the story. Comments and reviews are much appreciated. A special thanks goes to my friend Lily for being my beta reader. Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer:**__ There are end game spoilers included in this piece. If you don't like spoilers, don't read ahead._

_**Disclaimer**__: The characters and the worlds I write in do not belong to me. The stories that I write are intended for entertainment purposes. I do not make any money from them._

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*** ~ Chapter 2: Aching Heart ~ ***

_It's easy to lose sight of things in a world as wide as this one._

"Hey Light! You here?"

"I'm up here Sazh."

_Anger didn't drive us. We just had things worth fighting for._

"Hey girl! What you doing all the way up there?" The older man squinted, peering up the tree to find the owner of the voice. Not that Sazh could see much at this time of the night. The eyes weren't what they used to be. The only reason he knew he wasn't hearing voices was because his eyes found the two glowing yellow bars on Lightning's shoulder pad floating around in the dark. How they remained lit after all this time was still a mystery.

"Hope and Snow came back over an hour ago saying you weren't too far behind." The former l'Cie sighed as he scratched the back of his head. "Dinner's long cold now. Aren't you hungry?"

_Has it been that long already?_ Lighting looked down from her perch, from the same spot she occupied since Hope went back to camp. She could just barely make out Sazh at the bottom of the tree, green trench coat and all, thanks to the faint glow the crystallized Cocoon gave off. While the light of Eden had faded, for some reason, but only at night, Cocoon glowed faintly like that of a small moon.

"Sorry Sazh" Lightning said, hoping down tree branch to tree branch until she hit solid earth. "I guess I lost track of time. You didn't have to-"

"Don't worry about it Light." Sazh waved at her in dismissal. "I've had time slip by me too. Without clocks anymore, it's easy to forget. Who knew we'd actually miss those damn things." The older man sighed.

Lightning chuckled. Sazh still loved to talk, the change from Cocoon to Gran Pulse having not dampened his spirits one bit. In fact, all of the other former l'Cie were adjusting well to their new living arrangements. Perhaps all except her. They all had moved on she supposed. But that was not something she could do. Not just yet…

"I have to admit" Sazh continued, as the pair slowly made their way back to camp. "For once, since that whole Orphan thing, Snow actually caught something edible for a change."

The pink haired soldier cringed but said nothing. Lightning wasn't sure how much she trusted that statement. Not that Sazh would lie to her. It was just that… well… they were talking about Snow here after all. For the past week, if not longer, it seemed Snows' favorite beast to catch for dinner was… Goblin. Rather disgusting things. They were chewy like rubber and tasted just as bad. Poor Hope almost choked the first time the green stuff was served. Thankfully Lightning had slapped him hard enough on the back to cough up the offending thing.

Lighting kicked herself mentally. She really shouldn't be thinking about Snow like that. He was part of the group who saved Cocoon and Serah. He deserved her respect. Heck, she even gave her blessing for the couple to get married after coming out of her brief crystal stasis. But while Lightning fought to bury old habits, some of the things Snow did just… she just couldn't help it at times. Or maybe she could, but was simply using that as an excuse not to.

"Pulse to Lighting. Come in Lightning."

"W-what?"

Sazh gave the soldier a sympathetic look.

"Sorry Sazh. What were you saying now?"

They had stopped walking at this point. Camp was still too far off to be seen, despite the lights from new Oerba flashing in the distance. The former l'Cie took up residence in New Oerba and worked to rebuild the place in memory of their crystal comrades. It was their hope that one day, in the not too far future, Fang and Vanille would awake. And when they did, they would have one heck of a welcome back party.

The taller man crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. "You haven't heard a single word I've said for the past few minutes now, have you?"

"S-sorry…" Lightning looked away in embarrassment. It wasn't like her to zone off to lala land, especially when carrying on a conversation with someone else. This someone else being Sazh right now. She'd done it with Hope earlier too. "I think… I think I'm just tired…"

"You haven't been sleep much, have you Light?"

"Pardon?"

Sazh walked a couple of steps ahead of her before stopping, his back to her as he spoke. "I heard you…" he said. "… Tossing and turning last night. Like you couldn't find a comfortable position or something."

"But how could you-"

"My room is under yours Light. I could hear the scraping of the bed frame through the ceiling as you turned."

Lightning turned her back on the man at his confession. First Hope and now Sazh? She was really losing it. Usually it was the rest of them worrying Lightning, not the other way around. "Tch."

"You miss them. Don't you?" Sazh turned back to face Lightning. "More than you'd like to admit to me or to the others. Even to yourself."

Lightning looked up at the sky, to Cocoon. "I don't know what you're talking about." She tried to feign innocence, but even she knew she wasn't very convincing right now.

"Sure you don't" Sazh said in exasperation, throwing up his hands in the air. "I'm probably just making up stuff."

Lightning said nothing to that. A hand came up to her chest and made a fist. At the mention of 'them', the ache inside her heart returned. And no matter how much she tried to squash the feeling, to bury it, it always came back, worse than before. The awkward silence was broken by Sazhs' next few words.

"Did I ever tell you about my wife Light?"

"Y-your wife?" Lightning spun around to face the man she looked up to like a father.

Sazh smiled at her, relishing the look of utter surprise on Lightning's' face. It wasn't too often you caught the mighty soldier Lightning by surprise. Even when they were ambushed that one time on patrol by behemoths in the Steppe, Lightning didn't even flinch.

The old man made his way over to a nearby boulder and sat down. He looked up at the stars as he recounted his tale. "It was like a match made in Eden" he said. "I'm sure you've heard of love at first sight?"

Lightning nodded.

"It wasn't anything like that." Sazh chuckled as confusion clearly showed on Lightning's' face. "In fact, we started off as worst enemies. I… wasn't exactly her type."

The pink haired soldier tilted her head to the side. "So how did you two end up then?" Lightning's' curiosity was peaked. She hadn't spent as much time with the older man as compared to the rest of her companions.

Sazh had a tendency to keep to himself, something Lightning attributed to him being at least double the age of most of them if not more. Though Vanille was lucky enough to connect with him, something Lightning was secretly glad for. She would never admit it, but Lightning was happy that Sazh found at least one person to talk to. Everyone needed someone like that. Even her. But she didn't tell you that.

Sazh grinned. "It's not how we came together that's important" he continued. "It's what happened after that."

The gunner rested his elbows on his knees and intertwined his fingers in front of his face. He sighed heavily. The little chocobo chick popped up from its hiding spot in his hair, looking this way and that before leaping out from Sazh's afro and fluttering over to Lightning. After making two loops around her, the little yellow bird finally settled down on her shoulder chirping happily.

"When Dajh became a Sanctum l'Cie, she stopped speaking to me."

Lightning's' head snapped from the little chick on her shoulder to the older man.

"She blamed me for it. Called me a horrible parent and father for allowing him to run off and get himself branded."

The chocobo chick rubbed its head against Lightning's neck, completely oblivious to the darker conversation going on right now. This was the first time the soldier girl let him on her shoulder after all. He intended to make the most out of it. Lightning scratched the little bird on the head with her finger, but her eyes never left Sazh's hunched form.

"A few days later, she just packed up and left." Sazh closed his eyes, resting his forehead against his hands. "I told Dajh that Mommy was just taking a long business trip and would be away for a while. With that whole l'Cie thing going on at the time, I just didn't have time to explain it to him. Nor did I have time to accept it myself."

"Sazh…"

"There's an ache one feels when someone special to them disappears." The gunner brought a hand to his chest and held a clump of his shirt in a white knuckled fist. "It's like a dull sort of pain that no pain killer would soothe. It nags at you like you've forgotten something but can't remember exactly what. And no matter what you do, may it be try to bury it, push it aside or just plain forget about it, it always eats at you."

Without realizing it, Lightning brought up a hand to her own chest and made a fist.

"You become haunted, a shell of your former self" Sazh continued, looking up to Lightning only to meet her downcast gaze. "And you wander around aimlessly, forever lost thinking about the things you should have said or should have done."

Lightning jumped when she felt a hand squeeze her shoulder. She didn't even know when Sazh stood up and made his way over to her. The older man smiled at her, pain flickering in his eyes as he spoke.

"While I can't possible know what it is you're truly struggling with, I can only tell you one thing."

"What's that?"

"You're not as alone as you think you are Light."

Lightning turned her gaze away, barely noticing the chocobo chick flying past her face to settle down in Sazh's hair once more.

"You have all of us here with you."

The fist against her chest clenched tighter.

"I know it's not like you to… to openly ask for help" Sazh said removing his hand from her shoulder. "But if by chance… may it even be a very slim chance, that you needed to… to talk to someone… my door is always open."

Sazh knew he was risking a potential black eye at this rate, having popped the personal bubble that was Lightning's 'space'. But even so, he would not stand by and leave things be. Lightning was suffering, possibly even more than any of them would ever realize. Serah had Snow. Hope had Bartholomew. Vanille and Fang had each other. And even he had Dajh. But who did Lightning have?

One could say they were all there for each other. But that really wasn't the same, was it? Each one of them had someone else to make them feel whole. For Lightning though, it was different. What made Lightning whole was having her whole family together under her watchful and protective eye. The girl would never admit it herself, but Sazh knew.

Throughout their journey to complete their focus, he'd seen it, picked up on it. It was probably an age thing, Sazh having experienced much more than any of the youngsters had at this point, which was why no one else realized it. Lightning had lost her parents when she was really young, and she became a hardened soldier to protect the remaining family she had left. And soon enough that extended to her new family. Without a doubt, Lightning was grieving.

Sazh knew she felt as if she had failed her new family somehow. While it was true that both Vanille and Fang were crystal and gained eternal life, they weren't here with them exactly. They weren't within arms reach of a hug. Their voices didn't linger in the midnight air like the rest of the gang's. So close, yet so incredibly far away. And because of it, Lightning was hurting.

"Claire? Sazh?"

Lighting and Sazh snapped out of their thoughts and looked towards the approaching figure. Almost an hour had passed by since Serah asked Sazh to find Lightning for her. Serah wasn't a fighter, not in the fist flying sense, and was rather scared to go looking by herself. So Sazh offered to do it instead. But when they didn't come back, Serah took matters into her own hands and reluctantly set out in the dark to find them both.

"Whoops…" Sazh said, running a hand through his hair. "It seems time slipped by again."

Sazh gave Lightning a sheepish grin. "Serah asked me to come find you originally."

"Claire? Sazh?" Serah called out again.

"Over here Serah" Lightning shouted as she waved to her sister.

The younger Farron flinched initially at the movement, but after realizing it was Lightning and not some sort of Gran Pulse beast, she quickly calmed and took off running towards her.

"We best head back for sure this time soldier" Sazh said turning in the direction of camp again. "Before we worry someone else for being out here so long."

Lightning took two steps forward, following after Sazh before she stopped. "Sazh."

"Hmm?"

"Is there a way to ever stop the pain?"

The gunner regarded the soldier with eyebrows raised high before he smiled. "Of course there is" he answered.

"How?"

"You live your life to the fullest… for them."


	3. Pain

**Finding Home**

_**A/N**__: And the 3__rd__ chapter is done! I've tried to keep everyone in character, but there may be the occasional slip up as needed to fit with the story. Comments and reviews are much appreciated. _

_A special thanks goes to my friend Lily for being my beta reader. And thank you to those who have read this far, favorited the story and left comments. ^^_

_Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer:**__ There are end game spoilers included in this piece. If you don't like spoilers, don't read ahead._

_**Disclaimer**__: The characters and the worlds I write in do not belong to me. The stories that I write are intended for entertainment purposes. I do not make any money from them._

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*** ~ Chapter 3: Pain ~ ***

_The brand of the l'Cie. _

"Serah?"

"Hmm?"

_The symbol of the Focus we all faced._

"What was… umm… oh forget it."

"Claire? What was what?"

_The mark of the fate we all shared. _

"I said forget it. Just pretend I didn't say anything."

"Claire! What was what?"

_Proof of the promise we all made._

Lightning sighed heavily. She was back at camp now, sitting on an old log by the fire. The moment the three of them got back, Serah immediately dished out dinner into a bowl and handed it to her to eat. Thankfully her sister had enough sense about her to hang the pot of stew over the fire before she came looking for them. Otherwise Lightning would be chowing down on really cold mush right now.

"Claire? Talk to me."

Lightning sighed again, absentmindedly pushing around the stew in her bowl with the spoon. She stared at her food, but not really. "What was… crystal stasis like?"

"W-what?"

Ever since New Oerba was established, it was decided the former l'Cie would alternate patrols with the Guardian Command around the town. The Guardian Command being the remaining Guardian Corps and PSICOM soldiers merged together into one group. At least the ones who followed them this far. There were still many who were weary of them, despite them having saved the world and all.

"C-Claire, why are you asking me this all of a sudden?"

The former l'Cie took the evening shift, the time of the day when the nastiest of the Gran Pulse beasts tended to wander close to the settlement looking for dinner. Guardian Command would take the night and day shift when it was usually a lot quieter. For what reason? The Guardian Command were a bunch of yellow bellied inexperienced chickens as compared to the former l'Cie who were much more 'experienced' in these matters. At least, that was Lightning's view on things. What a load of-

"Claire?"

Another heavy sigh. At this point, Lightning stopped playing with her food and just set it down next to her on the log. Not that the food was awful. What Sazh had said early was true, dinner was actually edible tonight. Lightning vaguely remembered her sister saying something about her going along with Snow this time to make sure he actually caught something decent. But even so, Lightning just didn't have the appetite to eat right. Actually, who was she kidding? She lost her appetite for pretty much everything since Fang and Vanille turned to crystal.

A rough shaking from the shoulders snapped Lightning's attention back to her younger self. "Claire?" Serah repeated for the umpteenth time in the past five minutes. "What's wrong? Are you sick or something?" A hand went up to Lightning's forehead.

"No Serah, I'm not sick" the older Farron said dejectedly. "I'm just-"

"Hurting." Serah dropped her hand from Lightning's forehead to her sister's forearm. She squeezed gently.

Lightning looked at her sister in surprise before her expression saddened. "Not you too..."

"What do you mean not me too?" Serah scowled. How could she not notice when Lightning was in pain?

Lightning turned her gaze to the fire.

"Claire" Serah said firmly, yet again. When her older sibling gave no response, Serah grabbed Lightning by the shoulders and yanked her sister around to look at her. "Claire. Look at me."

Pain filled aqua eyes met concerned filled ones. Lightning simply did as she was told, saying nothing else, much to her younger sister's annoyance. While Lightning had warmed up much to the rest of the gang and people in general over the past few months, she still had trouble fully opening up to people. And in times such as this, required some prompting to say anything at all.

"Why are you asking me about crystal stasis? What is this about?"

Serah knew damn well what this was about. Everyone knew was this was all about. It wasn't hard to notice the change in Lightning once they accepted Gran Pulse as their home. At least, not to all the former l'Cie. Everyone else didn't seem to notice, but then again they didn't know Lightning like they did.

"Do you think… do you think they're thinking about us?" Lightning looked up at Cocoon, a clear longing in her eyes as she searched for the unseen.

"Claire…" Serah swallowed the lump in her throat before pulling her sister into a tight hug. It broke her heart to see her sister in this state. Lightning didn't even flinch at first, like she usually would have had she been her normal straight faced soldier self after being pulled into an embrace like this. And that alone was a clear indication that something was terribly wrong.

"I don't even remember it myself…" Lightning said in almost a whisper. Her eyes were unfocused as she searched her memories. "I just… One moment I was on Cocoon, floating up in the sky slowly turning to crystal. Fang and Vanille turned to Ragnarok and then… and then… I was here on Pulse looking up at crystal."

Lightning sounded so lost, like she didn't know what to do, or where she belonged. Serah bit her lip as tears threatened to fall from her very own eyes. "It's okay Claire" she said, hugging her sister tighter. "It's okay."

Serah didn't remember when it happened, but at some point, Lightning wrapped her arms around her back and returned the hug. "Everything's going to be okay Claire. You'll see." And for a good few minutes, the Farron sisters remained in their silent embrace.

"Serah."

"Hmm?"

"What was crystal stasis like?"

Serah closed her eyes. _Again with that damn question._

"I don't know" came Serah's reply.

"W-what?" It was Lightning's turn to be shocked. The soldier pulled out of the hug and looked at her sister, as if to confirm she was telling the truth. Serah was never one to lie and Lightning knew it. But that was not the answer she wanted to hear.

"I don't know" Serah repeated, looking at her sister, her protector, ashamed of the words coming out of her mouth. When Lightning didn't say anything, Serah took that as the cue to elaborate further.

"It's all hazy" she said. Unconsciously, Serah wrung her hands together in her lap. "I remember you and Snow coming to get me, like you promised me you would. Then there was this peaceful feeling that washed over me, something inside of me feeling so fulfilled… I really don't know how to explain it. And before I knew it, I was here on Pulse talking to Dajh and I saw you all waiting for us."

"I see…" Lightning's shoulders hunched forward and she turned back to face the fire. "Nothing huh?"

"Not _nothing_…" Serah said in a quieter voice.

Lightning didn't even glance in her direction.

"It's just that… whatever happened while I was asleep… I don't remember it." Serah pursed her lips together tightly. She knew that wasn't the answer Lightning was looking for. And as much as it hurt to bear such news to her sister, it was the truth.

"Claire-"

"Thank you Serah."

"Eh?"

"Thank you for being honest with me."

When Serah looked up from the fire, she could only gawk. Claire was… Claire was smiling at her! A real, genuine, appreciative smile! W-wha-

"You shouldn't keep your mouth open like that Serah" Lightning said with a chuckle. "You'll attract flies."

Serah snapped her mouth shut and coloured considerably. N-now Claire was joking around with her! "A-alright! Who are you and what have you done with Claire?" she managed to say getting her wits back after a moment.

Lightning laughed, a deep from the stomach rumble of a laugh.

"C-Claire!" Serah said pouting. "That's not funny! You make it sound like I was gaping like a fish or something!"

The fish comment only caused Lightning to laugh harder. So hard in fact, she fell backwards off the log she sat on, onto the grass behind it flat on her back.

"Claire!" Serah gasped in horror, quickly darting over the side of the log to her sister's side.

"I'm okay, I'm okay" Lightning said quickly, wiping a tear from her eyes. Whether it was a happy tear or not would be unknown to her sister.

"I'm sorry Serah" Lighting said chuckling as she looked over at her ruffled sister. "I couldn't help it. Your expression was so priceless."

Deep inside, Lightning felt conflicted. How do you live your life for someone who may not even remember you when they woke up? And Fang and Vanille would wake up. Lightning refused to think otherwise. But couldn't they speed it up a little bit? Just a little?

At the very least, despite her impatience, she had to stop worrying all of her friends. Her family. It was one thing to worry Hope and Sazh. But for her to have worried Serah too, that was just… horrible. Lightning didn't even want to think about if Snow was worried about her. That would be just too much. So she did what she did best. She forced her mask on again. But this time, it was only her pain she hid underneath it.

"Hey!" the younger one said slapping Lightning on the shoulder. "That's not fair! I never get to tease you like that."

"That's because I never gape like a fish." Lightning broke out laughing again.

"Ah mou!" Serah grumbled, her face flushing pink again. "Hmpf!" Serah turned her head away from her older self and closed her eyes, arms crossed over her chest.

"But seriously speaking Serah…"

Serah turned back to look at her sister.

"Thank you."

Lightning stared up at the sky. While her gaze was not specifically on Cocoon, her thoughts were.

"Claire, I-"

"It was not the answer I was looking for…" Lightning said, already knowing why her sister was apologizing. "But that was better than you lying to me, trying to cheer me up."

Lightning heard rustling before something weighted down on her shoulder and pressed up against her side. A small smile grew on her face as she wrapped an arm around her sister's torso, still looking up at the sky. When they were little, before their parents died, there were times that Serah snuck into her room and cuddled with her under the blankets. Very much like she was now, on the grass. When they were kids however, it was because of some bad dream Serah had or something. Lightning felt a pang of guilt, knowing that this time it was because of her.

_The last time this happened was…_ Lighting closed her eyes. The last time this happened was before they found out their parents died. She had almost forgotten the memory. Almost.

"They'll come back Claire" Serah said. "I know they will. Just hold on a bit longer." The younger Farron watched the rise and fall of her big sister's chest, the soft pattering of Lightning's heart starting to lull her to sleep. Lightning always did make her feel safe. Like nothing could ever harm her. Just like another certain someone in her life. Oh fal'Cie, how she missed their moments like this.

Lightning leaned her head down and kissed her sister on the top of her head. "I know they will Serah" she said softly, her chin resting lightly against her sister's head. "I'm just not the very patient type."

Serah snorted. "Tell me about it."

"Hey now! Why you-"

_**Rata-tat-tat!**_

Lightning's head snapped up at the sound.

"W-was that gunfire?" Serah said, as both of them scrambled to their feet.

_**Rata-tat-tat! Rata-tat-tat! **_

Then screaming.

Lightning's gunblade was out instantly. "Serah, get the others!" she said already pivoting in her spot towards the sound of battle.

"But Clai-"

"DO IT!"

Lightning took off before her sister could protest any further. The soldier weaved through the trees effortlessly despite it being almost pitch black under the canopy of their leaves. More gunfire rattled off in the distance, along with gurgling screams and a beastly growl she had never heard before. A shiver ran down her spine when she heard that ghastly thing. That was no Gran Pulse beast that she'd ever heard before. And she had fought many of them already.

Whatever the Guardian Command battled, it sounded huge and very nasty. And very close to where she sat on watch earlier too. "Tch! I shouldn't have left my post!"

Racing past 'her' lookout tree, Lightning slid to a halt and dove to the left narrowly missing the shadowed body of a flying Guardian Command rifleman. She heard a stomach turning crack as the man smacked into a tree behind her and crumpled into a heap at the base of it. Lightning had no time to gawk at the downed man, her head snapping back to the battle scene in front of her when the beast they were fighting let out a twisted howl.

Lightning felt goose bumps rise on her arms, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up instantly. The scene in front of her was just… no words could describe the horror of it. One sole gunman remained standing, emptying his cartridge on a beast that looked to be a Behemoth King. The creature was already standing on two legs with its massive spiky axe in hand.

At its feet, scattered around it in a circle were shattered trees and what was left of two patrol units, which consisted of four men per team, of the Guardian Command. A frightening bloody mess of severed limbs and broken bodies. Lightning had seen many gruesome things over her career as a soldier, but this scene was by far the worst.

"Watch out!"

Her warning fell on deaf ears. The Guardian Command gunner was hell bent on blowing the beast to smithereens with his gun. Something Lighting knew wasn't working. Just as the gunman's rifle clicked empty, the beast swiped at him in a blur and he was gone. Lightning's eyes widened at the blood dripping off of the beast's weapon. This was not a Behemoth King she had ever seen before. Its flesh was twisted, jagged and hardened. Spires jutted out from folds of rock like skin, limbs bent and twisted at unusual angles. A massive red eye was centered on its chest. It was almost like… like a… _Like a – No! It couldn't be!_ Was she seeing things?

"Lightning!" came a call behind her.

"Oh shi-"

Hearing a voice behind it, the twisted Behemoth King turned around and came face to face with the pink haired soldier. She barely rolled to the right in time, avoiding what would have been a dismembering sunder. It was just as fast as she was! That was an appalling thought considering the size of the beast already.

"Ligh-"

"S-stay back!" she screamed at the approaching footsteps. Lightning could not keep the tremble of fear out of her voice. For the first time since she lost her parents, she felt completely, and utterly horrified. Just… just what was that thing!

_Get it together Light!_ she chided herself. _You have to stop it!_ She couldn't afford to take her eyes off the target. The moment she did, she was done for. Catching a blur of movement through her peripheral, Lighting flipped backwards twice, just as the spiky axe the beast carried came ripping through the air, slicing into her red cape. She dodged it by a hair.

Her heart pounded in her ears and she could hear nothing else. A bead of sweat rolled down her face, her hands shaking as the thing growled at her as if calculating the threat she posed to it. It was like Orphan all over again. Those eyes. Those same freaking eyes! Unknown to everyone, the confrontation with Orphan that fateful day was one of the most terrifying experiences she'd ever gone through, even worse than when her parents died. But back then, the whole family was with her. And that was the only reason not a single hint of fear graced her face then. But right now, it was just her versus this insane beast.

She had to take this thing down before anyone else got hurt! Before she lost anyone else! And at the thought of losing another of her family, images of Fang's and Vanille's smiling faces flashed into her mind. _No! Not again! Not again!_

"Light!"

Lighting charged the beast, a war cry leaping from her lips as her gunblade trailed in her right hand with wisps of flame condensing in her left. The twisted Behemoth King raised its axe high above its head, before slashing down at her with it. The pink haired soldier ignored the extreme exertion forced upon her body as flames leapt from her hand. A bowling ball sized ball of fire crackled in her palm as trees crumbled to dust under the weight of the beast's the spiky axe arcing towards her.

Before it cleaved her into two, Lightning threw her left hand skywards, launching the fiery projectile of red and orange directly at the monstrosity's face. It snarled at the move, head flinging back as flames erupted across its face and spread like napalm, temporarily blinding it. But the axe remained true to its course. It cratered the ground with a sonic boom. However, Lighting was already running up its arm at that point. Within range of its now charred face, Lightning leapt towards its face and unleashed her signature attack.

For a moment, time slowed down around the ravager, Lightning tapping into her insane speed to down the beast. Inhaling deeply, Lightning's blade slashed upwards, catching the twisted Behemoth King in the chin. The soldier looped her blade around and struck its chin again a split second later. Her left boot stamped down on the beast's nose before it could flinch, Lighting spinning right, her blade hacking right, then left with a gunshot shot right afterwards to add insult to injury.

Not letting up one bit, Light somersaulted forward in the air, the heel of her right boot slamming down on the creature's forehead, followed up by another jarring kick from her right foot and a sinew cleaving lateral slash from her gunblade from left to right. Using the last of her inertia, Lightning spun around like a top in the air in front of the twist beast, gunblade outstretched, slicing into the creature's face another two times before she kicked backwards off its chin to put distance between them as she fell back to the ground.

Every other enemy she used that combination of attacks against, staggered under her assault. But this one did not. Landing the final blow in her chain of attacks, the enraged beast quickly got its bearings back and swiped at her before she touched the ground with a glowing clawed hand.

"LIGHTNING!"

Lightning's gunblade went spiraling into the air. Claws ripped through flesh, spasms of pain and agony wracking her body. There was no chance for her to dodge the unnaturally quickly recovered beast's attack, the firaga and shortly afterwards the Army of One exhausting her more than normal as she was no longer a l'Cie. The last thing she remembered before hitting the ground was indescribable pain and everything went white.


	4. Promise

**Finding Home**

_**A/N**__: And chapter 4 is up! I've tried to keep everyone in character, but there may be the occasional slip up as needed to fit with the story. Comments and reviews are much appreciated. _

_A special thanks goes to my friend Lily for being my beta reader. And thank you to those who have read this far, favorited the story and left comments. ^^_

_ FiveThreeTen: I didn't get a chance to read those before last night, but now that I have, from this point onwards I'll do my best to keep things as consistent with the game as possible._

_Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer:**__ There are end game spoilers included in this piece. If you don't like spoilers, don't read ahead._

_**Disclaimer**__: The characters and the worlds I write in do not belong to me. The stories that I write are intended for entertainment purposes. I do not make any money from them._

_

* * *

_

*** ~ Chapter 4: Promise ~ ***

_Wishes can come true. _

The smell of grass. The sound of flowing water. The caress of a gentle wind. And an incredibly warmth that soothed her tormented heart.

_But not if you just wait for miracles._

Those were the things that first struck Lightning, as she slowly roused from unconsciousness. True peacefulness. Something she hadn't felt in a long time. Not since-

A giggle. And a husky laugh.

"W-what…?" Lightning turned her head to the side slightly.

"Oh! She's waking up!"

Brilliant light blinded her, as she opened her eyes. She shut them quickly. Lightning groaned, raising a hand to her eyes which felt like hot daggers were boring into them.

"Wakey, wakey Sunshine."

Lightning stiffened. Those words… that voice… Her eyes snapped opened, again blinded by the intense light. But Lightning ignored the pain this time, forcing her eyes to focus on the things going on around her. Two shadows loomed over her head. No, those were not shadows. They were… they were faces…

"Did you miss me?"

Lightning shot up like a spring, only to clip her forehead on the chin of the closest face to her. She fell back onto the lap which belonged to that said face holding her head.

A profanity laced curse. "Geez Light! I know you're excited to see me and all, but head butting was not what I had in mind for a greeting. Gah…"

Another giggle. "Awww. Did Lightning give Fang a boo boo?"

"That's not helping Vanille."

Another laugh.

Lightning groaned, clutching her now throbbing head as she tried to get her bearings back.

"Seriously Light" Fang said rubbing her chin. "I always knew you were hard headed. But I never thought you'd be more so than Snow. That really hurt."

"F-Fang?" Lightning's eyes widened, finally able to focus on the ones that kept her company.

"That's my name." The warrior winked at her.

"And don't forget about me." Green eyes and orange locks of hair came into view from the left.

"Vanille…"

"Yep!"

Lightning gawked at the two of them for a full minute before she got her wits about her. She rolled to the right before either of them could react and was up on her feet the moment she was out of their reach.

"Woah!" Fang said, rising to her feet. "Someone is in a hyper mood right now." She dusted herself off.

"Shut up!" Lightning's hand reached for her gunblade but only met air. "W-wha?" She chanced a glance back to her holster and found it empty.

"Hmpf!" Fang said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Is that how you greet an old friend? No one is going to hurt you here."

Vanille was up on her feet at this point, hovering just behind to Fang's left. "It's okay Light. It's just us."

"Who are you and where am I?" Aqua coloured eyes darted back and forth between the two women, Lightning crouching into a defensive stance.

The two Pulsians looked at each other. Fang sighed, uncrossing her arms and putting a hand on her hip. Lightning was… bewildered. And who could blame her? They were rather frazzled themselves when they found her just lying in the grass, eerily unmoving a few moments ago. How she got there, was a total mystery to them. Just as much as it was to the pink haired soldier. But first things first. They had to get the soldier to settle down.

"Look Light" Fang said, taking a step towards her. "I know you have a lot of questions to ask, but so do we. How about you just calm down, yeah?"

Vanille nodded behind Fang, biting her lip nervously.

Lightning took a step back, maintaining the distance between them. She was not about to let these… these imposters get anywhere near her. How dare they! How dare they take on the forms of her friends! Her family! What kind of sick joke was this! Where was she! There were knots already forming in her stomach.

Fang rolled her eyes. "There's nothing to be afraid of Light." Fang took another step forward towards the soldier. "It's us. You know, Fang and Vanille? The ones who stopped Cocoon from crashing into Gran Pulse?"

"The Fang and Vanille I know are gone! Forever trapped in crystal!"

Lighting swallowed the lump that suddenly formed in her throat. She narrowed her eyes at the clear, yet perfect looking imposters in front of her, tears stinging her eyes. Her hands were clenched tightly into fists. Shaking. She took another step back.

This was the first time she openly admitted to herself that fact. That Fang and Vanille wouldn't be coming back. That Fang and Vanille… were gone… Oh fal'Cie! Her insides were a mess. All this time, over all these months, she continued denying the truth she knew already. It was a lie. It had to be a lie. But if it wasn't true, why hadn't they come back yet? She had failed. It was that simple. She had failed them. But she refused to accept that fact. She was Lightning. Kickass soldier. Former Pulse l'Cie. Savior of Cocoon. Yet the one thing she could not save was her family.

"Light…" Fang's irritated expression softened.

This was too much.

"That's not true Light!" Vanille said moving past Fang. "It's-"

"Be quiet! You're not real!"

Lightning took another step back, vision blurring from tears that ran down her cheeks. She was coming apart. So badly she was coming apart. And there was nothing she could do about it. This was too much. To see these imposters here… standing right before her. The way they moved. The way they talked. The way they looked at her. It was like her prayers were finally answered and here before her was staring the very two people she wanted to see the most. But it was a lie. An illusion. Fang and Vanille were gone. And it was her fault. It was all her fault…

This was just too much.

"Lig-"

"Not another word!" Lightning growled, strain clearly heard in her voice. Another step back. And another. And another. She was trembling. And the tears would not stop.

"Don't move Light!" Fang said, more forcefully than she intended. Fang pursed her lips tightly, fear gripping her heart. Lightning had no idea she was about to step back off a cliff. "Don't move another st-"

"Be quiet!"

"Light!"

And suddenly she was falling. How it happened, she didn't know. She just took another step back, but there was not solid ground. Just air. And so she fell.

"Claire!"

A blur of blue. Something around her wrist. The smell of rain.

Lightning was yanked skyward by whatever it was that firmly held her wrist. Her feet hit the grass moments later. She stumbled forward a few steps, her knees buckling under her by the sudden reappearance of solid earth underneath her. Something wrapped around her shoulders and held her tightly against blue silk.

"Geez Light! Don't scare me like that! One heart attack for the day is enough!"

Lighting said nothing, eyes blankly staring at the blue fabric. She closed her eyes and buried her face in Fang's shoulder. The warrior was trembling. She could feel it. Lightning could just barely make out the rapid beat of the woman's heart. Lightning clutched the back of Fang's sari.

"Is this my punishment?" her voice came out in no louder than a chocked whisper.

"Punishment?" the younger Pulsian said. She looked at her taller friend.

Fang could only shrug.

"Punishment for what Light? What would you be punished for?"

_What punishment? What punishment she asks?_ A sob escaped her lips, causing the two Oerbans to look at her in shock. _Punishment for treating Serah the way I did. Punishment for doubting Snow we'd save her. Punishment for almost giving up on Hope. Punishment for losing patience with Sazh. Punishment for losing you…_ The list and reasons for her punishment could go on and on. But she could not voice them. She could not say them.

Shame and guilt and misery squeezed at her heart. It was like a hand closing around her throat. All of those mistakes. Those stupid mistakes. As their leader, she was responsible for holding everything and everyone together. Yet she was so blinded by her fear and her own inadequacy that it wasn't until it was almost too late that she realized her errors. She was going to be the one to tear them all part unless she changed. She flipped it around in the end, before that happened. But she still lost two of them. And Lightning could only shudder with another sob.

Shocked expressions soon turned to worried ones. This was not the Lightning that they knew. Lighting was tough, cool and could kick your butt if you looked at her the wrong way. Not this, this shuddering, lost and broken woman they saw in front of them right now.

"Hey" Fang said in a soft voice. "Enough of that you. Keep that up and you'll have me crying soon."

Lightning could only cry harder.

"Oh Light…" Vanille put a hand on the soldier's back. "It's alright. Don't cry."

"I f-f-f-failed…" Lightning choked out between shudders. "I c-couldn't save you…"

"But you didn't fail us Light" Vanille continued. It broke her heart to see Lighting so shattered. "We're still here. And you're here with us, aren't you?"

"S-so I'm… dead then?" The shudders had stopped. But the tears still continued to fall.

A snort. "Dead? If you're dead, that would make us dead too. But I don't feel dead. Do you Vanille?"

Orange hair swirled left then right. "Nuh uh."

"So then… where are we?" Lightning pulled away from Fang, rubbing the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. The worst of her crying fit had passed it seemed.

"I don't know" Fang said, a hand on her hip as she looked around. "We know just as much as you do at this point." A finger went up to Lightning's face to brush away a tear.

Lightning coloured at the action, embarrassed that Fang and Vanille (but more specifically Fang) had seen her in her moment of weakness. She turned her back to the older Pulsian and walked up to the edge of the plateau she almost fell off. The soldier found her breath caught in her throat when she finally looked at the place in its entirety.

The trio stood at the top of a waterfall, mountains seen in the backdrop. Flowers of all colours covered everything that was green. The sky was a clear blue, going on for what seemed like forever. This was Gran Pulse certainly, but Lightning wasn't sure where exactly. She had yet to come across a location like this.

"Ain't it pretty?" Vanille said, bounding up to Lightning's left.

"Stunning…" was the soldier's reply.

"Indeed it is" a voice echoed to her right.

Lightning flinched when an arm went around her shoulders and she turned to see Fang looking over at her intensely.

"Who knew Sunshine here was actually human?" the Pulsian warrior chuckled.

"Tch." Lighting pushed off Fang's arm and glared at her. "Fang, if anyone else finds out about this-"

"I know, I know" Fang said raising her hands up in defense. "You'll slice me to ribbons with your gunblade and feed me to the Gorgonopsids."

The corners of her mouth twitched, but Lightning kept her angry glare on the warrior in blue. She would not smile, despite her feeling of accomplishment for 'training' Fang as well as she did over the journey as Pulse l'Cie.

"But I wouldn't worry about me" Fang continued.

"Oh?" Lightning raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah" Fang grinned. "It's Vanille you really should worry about. She couldn't hold a secret to save her life."

"W-whaaaaaaaaat?" Vanille looked at the taller woman like she'd been stabbed in the back. "Faaaaaaaang! That's not true!" The orange haired girl with pig tails stomped her feet, pouting.

"Oh yeah? What about the time we borrowed the elder's horn and-"

"That was not my fault!" Vanille said stomping some more. "You were the one who-"

"Or how about the time I told you not to tell anyone about that Leyak-"

"Faaaaaaaang! You can't expect me not to say anything if someone could have gotten hurt and-"

"And that one time-"

The banter continued on for another few minutes, Fang and Vanille going back and forth about this secret and that, which Vanille spilled the beans on, one way or another. Lightning still stood in the middle of the two, arms crossed over her chest, head lowered, silent the whole time it was happening. They had forgotten she was even there. And when the argument went back to Vanille for the eighth time, something unexpected happened.

It was small at first, a twitch on her lips. That soon grew into the ends of her mouth curving upward. More and more until there was a full blown smile on her face. But it didn't stop there. It got wider and wider until Lightning let loose the loudest laugh she had ever done, startling both Pulsians enough that they jumped back from her.

"Fang…" Vanille said, practically gawking at Lightning who continued to laugh hysterically. "I think you broke her."

"Nuh uh" the other Oerban said. "That wasn't me. It must have been something you did."

"You two…" Lightning laughed again. "… are priceless…" The soldier fell to her knees, holding her stomach as she gasped for air. It was such an amazing feeling, laughing until she cried and couldn't breathe. She hadn't done that in… forever.

Thinking their friend injured somehow, having collapsed to the ground like that, Fang and Vanille both raced over to Lighting.

"Light!"

"Thank you" Lightning said after she caught her breath.

The Oerbans looked at each other again, not sure what to make of Lightning's seemingly random behavior.

"Thank you…" Lightning repeated, sitting back on her heels and sighing. "I needed this… very much…"

They didn't forget her. Nor were they angry with her. It felt like an enormous weight had lifted from her shoulders. From her heart. She had always feared what they would think of her, what they would say to her, once she finally saw them again. Would they hate her for being so weak? Would to despise her for giving them the cold shoulder? Would they blame her for their crystal stasis?

The crunching of grass on either side of her indicated both the Oerbans sat down as well. Lightning remained quiet as she stared at the horizon.

"You okay Lightbug?"

"Yeah…" Lightning smiled. Fang had a variety of annoying nicknames for her. Sunshine. Sparky. Lightbug. She was practically harassed with every single variation during their journey as l'Cie. Lightning almost strangled Fang once, before they found their way to Oerba. Never once did she think she'd miss hearing them. But she did.

"You see what you did Fang!" Vanille said gaping at Lightning's smile. "You really did break her. Look! She's smiling!"

Fang opened her mouth for a witty retort of some kind, but in the end said nothing. A smile formed on her lips instead. Green eyes watched the soldier's face intently. Lightning had a remarkable smile. _About damn time it came out!_

"Fang" Lightning said.

"Yeah?"

"Stop grinning at me" the pink haired soldier said. "You're creeping me out."

The Pulsian warrior flushed noticeably, kicking herself internally for getting caught. She soon covered it up with the flip of her hair and a chuckle. "Sorry Light, I can't help it. You're just so damn gorgeous after all."

For that remark, she received a sharp elbow to the ribs. "I'm stopping, I'm stopping!" Fang said rubbing her side. "But still Li-"

Another hard elbow. And a smirk.

Vanille could only giggle at the exchange between the two. Fang always knew what buttons to push when it came to Lightning. The ones to specifically piss off and aggravate the woman. Flirting was one of those such buttons. Though, the only difference this time was that Lightning was in on the joke too. This was so cute! Who would have thought Light had such a playful side to her?

* * *

"_Claire!"_

_Serah looked panicked._  
_

* * *

_

Lightning inhaled sharply, grabbing her chest.

"Lightning?"

* * *

"_Damnit Hope! Do something!"_

_Snow was looking at Hope._

* * *

Lightning gasped for air, keeling forward.

"Oye! Light!"

* * *

"_It's coming back!"_

_Sazh unloaded his guns on something in the dark._

_

* * *

_

Searing pain ripped through her stomach, Lightning crying out in pain.

"What's happening?" Vanille watched, eyes wide with horror as three streaks of red slowly appeared through Lightning's coat.

"They're calling her back" Fang said, biting her lip as she cradled Lightning's head in her lap. "She's not supposed to be here."

"I know but-"

"We were only to keep her safe until she could return."

Lightning looked up at Fang, trying so hard not to whimper even as tears fell from her eyes. "R-return where?" she struggled to say, pain clearly in her voice. Everything around them was slowly fading into white. Sounds were going hollow.

"Shhh" Fang said, pulling some stray locks of pink from her face. "Don't talk. It will be alright."

* * *

"_It's not working!"_

_Hope was crying._  
_

* * *

_

Vanille held Lightning's hand tightly in her own. Tears rolled down her cheeks. "You have to go back Light" she said in a trembling voice. "Don't worry, you'll see us again."

"But-" Lightning squeezed Vanille's hand in a death grip as her back arched upwards and she cried out in a strangled scream. A spasm of intense pain struck her. She collapsed a second later, her vision slowly going dark. "No…"

Fang held onto Lightning's other hand. "Don't be afraid Claire" she said, her voice already sounding distorted to Lightning's ears. "We'll be right behind you. Promise."

Lightning weakly squeezed Fang's hand. _I'll be holding you to that promise…_

She was falling. Farther and farther into the light. Fang and Vanille were moving farther and farther away from her. _You promised…_

"Oerba Yun Fang always keeps her promises!" Fang shouted at her before she disappeared completely from sight.

Lightning smiled, the pain running rampant through her no longer burning anymore. She closed her eyes as everything went dark.

_You promised…_

"LIGHTNING!"

An explosion of pink light blinded them. Snow instinctively used his body to shield the Farron sisters, Serah leaning over Lightning's unconscious body. Sazh shielded his face with his face with his forearm at Lightning's feet, Hope with his back to Serah gripping his boomerang tightly as he held up a hand to shield his face.

On the ground underneath them, circular runes in pink swirled in opposite directions, a faint ringing shattering the quiet night air. A cylinder of pink energy shot up into the sky above them before exploding outward, rose petals swirling around them to reveal a massive armored figure in white. The twisted Behemoth King growled at the intrusion of this white knight. This knight stood between it and its prey.

"W-what is that thing!" Serah said staring at the one protecting them all from this crazed beast.

"Odin…" Hope said in exasperation.

The twisted Behemoth King charged Odin, kicking dirt backwards as it raced at the white knight on four legs. Odin crouched down, bringing up his shield in front of him as the twisted beast leaped into the air and slashed at him. Claws scrapped along metal harmlessly. Before the twisted Behemoth King touched the ground, Odin swung his shield up in a blur, smashing the beast backwards with a reverberating blow.

The twisted Behemoth King cratered the ground well away from the former l'Cie gang, landing on its back. Odin took off a split second later leaping high into the air before landing on top of the beast which struggled to right itself. Raising his S shaped sword high into the air, the twisted Behemoth King could only snarl as he slammed it down into its throat, stilling the beast.

"He did it…" Sazh said, not quite believing what he saw. He slowly rose to his feet.

"But how did he…" Hope turned to look at Snow. "I mean, Light couldn't have summoned him. Now like this."

Odin straightened his posture and turned to face the former l'Cie. Everyone turned their gaze back to their unconscious and wounded leader.

"Promise…" Lightning murmured.


	5. Worried

**Finding Home**

_**A/N**__: And chapter 4 is up! I've tried to keep everyone in character, but there may be the occasional slip up as needed to fit with the story. Comments and reviews are much appreciated. _

_A special thanks goes to my friend Lily for being my beta reader. And thank you to those who have read this far, favorited the story and left comments. ^^_

_For those of you who've left unsigned reviews after the completion of this fanfic, see my replies below:_

_ Animehost - Thanks for the review! I realize this piece was a little short. Lol. It was meant to be a short one, but then the storyline got away from me and hence the need for a sequel. XD I hope you enjoyed reading "Tainted Fal'Cie"!_

_ Choboco ProdoCo - Thanks for the review! That part also made me teary eyed. Playing the game, we just become so used to the characters, so when they're gone, it's really sad. But they'll come back. You'll see. :)_

_Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer:**__ There are end game spoilers included in this piece. If you don't like spoilers, don't read ahead._

_**Disclaimer**__: The characters and the worlds I write in do not belong to me. The stories that I write are intended for entertainment purposes. I do not make any money from them._

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*** ~ Chapter 5: Worried ~ ***

_Miracles are things we make for ourselves._

CRASH!

The sound of glass breaking jarred Lightning from darkness. "W-wha…?" She murmured weakly, her head in a fog.

_We held the light of hope in our hearts, and achieved the impossible._

"Ah man…" someone whined. "Sis is so going to kill me once she finds out-"

"Once I find out what?" Lightning's voice cracked mid sentence, the inside of her throat feeling like sandpaper. She didn't need to open her eyes to know who was stumbling around on the opposite end of the room.

"Sis! You're awake!" Heavy footsteps thumped up to her. "We were so worried!"

The first thing that greeted Lightning when she opened her eyes was Snow. Right up in her face. Like really close to her face. So close in fact, she could almost count the hairs on his chin close.

"Snow."

"Yeah Sis?"

"You're invading my bubble."

"Bubble?" Snow looked around in confusion.

Lightning sighed. "I need some space Hero."

"Oh right! Sorry…"

Snow backed up a couple of steps, chuckling. That is when Lightning spotted two pieces of broken dishes in his gloved hands. She blinked. "Umm… Snow?"

"What's up Sis?"

"What's that in your hands?"

"In my–Oh shi-" Snow quickly hid the broken pieces of plates behind his back. His face went pink and he smiled at her wearily. "It's nothing…" _Nothing a bit of glue can't fix that is…_

Lightning stared at Snow in silence for a few seconds before sighing again. She was in no mood to pick a fight with him right now. He had obviously done something wrong, hiding whatever it was behind his back like a kid who got caught doing something they shouldn't have. Shifting her gaze around the room, it dawned on Lightning that she was home. _Home_. Her home in New Oerba. Lighting smiled. She didn't know what changed, but for whatever the reason, this place finally felt like home.

Looking around again, Lightning noted that everything seemed to be in one piece and just where she left it. Though, from the looks of things, something was going on in her kitchen and Snow was the culprit. Snow followed her gaze, his jaw slackening.

"Are you hungry?" Snow dashed off to the kitchen before Lightning could even reply. Dishes and food were everywhere. In the sink. On the countertops. On the floor. Well… broken dishes were on the floor. But those were hidden out of sight from Lightning because of the dinner table which sat between her and the kitchen. Something sizzled in the frying pan on the stove.

"Serah should be back soon" the blonde said, picking up the shards of broken dishes from the floor. "She just went to check on the others. The first time in days she's been out of the house."

_Days?_ Lightning frowned at the thought. That didn't sound right. Judging by the lack of light streaming through the windows, it looked to be nighttime still. While she didn't know how she ended up in bed, it couldn't have been more than a couple of hours since she came in from watch.

"Sno-" Lightning cried out in agony falling back into bed, a scorching pain streaking across her stomach as she tried to sit up.

"Sis!"

Ceramic bits clattered to the floor as the tall blonde zipped his way around the dinner table with amazing agility and raced up to his soon to be sister-in-law's bedside. Lightning clenched fistfuls of her blanket in death grips at her sides, sweat rolling down the side of her face as she huffed and wheezed. She would not scream. She refused to scream.

"Easy now" Snow said, untangling one of her hands from the blanket and taking it in his own. "Don't try to get up. You're still recovering."

That's right. There was a battle. With a freak of a beast. She was injured. And after that… after that…

"_Oerba Yun Fang always keeps her promises!"_

A promise was made.

Lightning closed her eyes. "Snow."

"Yeah Light?"

"How long have I been out?"

"Not that long."

"How long Snow?!"

Snow furled his brow. "Almost five days Sis."

"F-five days?" Lightning stared at the blonde as if he just sprouted another head right then and there.

"Yeah" Snow continued. "You were hurt pretty bad. Had us all freaked out about it." He gave her a half smile. "Serah cried for hours and wouldn't leave your side. We thought we'd lose you."

_Serah…_ Lightning looked down at herself. Though with the blanket pretty much up to her chest, there really wasn't much to see. She could feel the bandages though, underneath what she currently wore. She could feel them every time she breathed. With her free hand, she pulled up the blanket a couple of inches, her gaze falling upon her shredded and bloodied turtleneck and fresh white bandages. She dropped the blanket and her arm down, the motion having exhausted her already.

Lightning flinched when she felt something cool press up against her face. Eyes darting to the side, she caught herself in Snow's intense gaze. He was wiping the sweat off her face with a cool damp cloth. In his eyes she could see a flicker of so many emotions. Concern. Anxiety. Fear. But not the fear from one of Lightning's beatings. Fear of losing her.

The pink haired soldier looked down to her hand that was still enveloped in his own. It was a rather strange feeling. Being pampered like this. By Snow of all people. No one had ever gotten this close before, with the exception of Serah. And if Lightning had a choice, she probably wouldn't have let Snow get this close either. But it was not like she could stop this right now, under the current circumstances. Besides, this was… nice. But you never heard that from her.

"You were feverish…" Snow said, using the cool damp cloth to pat down her chin and neck.

Lightning went a few shades darker from Snow's attention to her, but he didn't seem to notice.

"… for the first few nights." Snow set the cloth down in the basin of water on the floor at the head of her bed. He turned his gaze upon her once more. "You had us really scared Light. Really scared."

There was a softness to his voice that surprised Lightning. Whenever he usually spoke, he always had this brash, arrogant tint to his words. Like a typical naïve hero wannabe. Spouting nonsense about saving the world and heroes not dying. But this, this tone now, it was so surreal to her. Had he always spoken like this and she just didn't notice? Or was it that he only saved this tone for Serah? Lightning looked up to meet his gaze.

"We couldn't heal you…" The grip on her hand tightened. "None of us could use our magic anymore." Pain. So much pain in those eyes.

"What happened to the soldiers?" Lightning asked, turning her gaze to the wall on her right. She couldn't bear to see such pain anymore. So she changed the subject. Well… kind of…

"We buried them" Snow said, his voice eerily flat. He cupped Lightning's hand in both of his own. "What was left of them that is." The blonde giant hung his head. "Their families were told of their valiant effort to protect the town. They were heroes."

"Tch." _Wasted life_. Lightning's hand squeezed Snow's. "What happened to… the monster?"

"It was… dealt with…"

Had Lightning's head been clear, she would have noticed his hesitation. But as she was now, it was hard to concentrate and her thoughts floated to the twisted Behemoth King. _What was that thing?_ It was like she knew the answer and it was on the tip of her tongue, but she just couldn't pin it down.

About to ask Snow something else, an almost putrid yet familiar smell came to her nose. "Umm… Snow?"

"Yeah Sis?"

"You smell that?"

Snow sat up straighter, his nose pointed upwards as he sniffed. "Yeah I do actually" he said, looking back to the kitchen. "It smells like-Oh fal'Cie! Your food!"

The big man bolted into the kitchen, bowling over one of the dining chairs in the process. From where she lay, Lightning could just barely make out the frying pan on the wood burning stove with flames leaping halfway up to the ceiling from it. Had she been her regular self, she would have screamed at him for his carelessness and stupidity, ready to shoot him with her gunblade to teach him a lesson. But right now, she just laughed.

It hurt so much to laugh right now, but she couldn't help it. Snow seemed to be performing some sort of ritualist dance around the kitchen as he tried to figure out how to put out the fire. First he tried patting the fire out with the wooden spatula he was cooking with. But that ended up catching fire itself, freaking Snow out even more. Then he tried to blow the fire out himself, which did nothing at all. Then he picked up the flaming frying pan and spatula, turning this way and that before he turned to the window with a look of desperation on his face.

Thankfully, through the intervention of the Maker or some fal'Cie, the door to Lightning's house opened and Serah walked through at that very moment. For a split second her face twisted in absolute horror at the scene of her fiancé holding a flaming frying pan, Snow getting ready to throw it out the window. The bags she was carrying dropped to the floor with a thud.

"SNOW!"

Lightning's younger self raced over to the blonde, yanked him over to the sink and yelled at him to drop the flaming objects in it. Snow immediately relinquished the flaming mess and Serah quickly turned on the pipe full blast, snuffing out the flames. Thank Eden the water still worked in this place, even after hundreds of years. Otherwise someone could have gotten seriously hurt by a flying flaming frying pan.

A flying flaming frying pan! Try saying that one ten times fast.

At this point, Lightning clutched her stomach wheezing and coughing on her side, the occasional half laugh, half chuckle in between as she tried to survive this moment of hilarity.

"Sis!"

"Claire!"

"I'm alright, I'm alright" Lightning managed to say through pants, after the giggles had passed.

Serah tilted her head up, a hand supporting the back of her head as she brought a glass of water up to Lightning's lips. Lightning greedily swallowed the cooling liquid, her parched throat begging for relief. Serah helped her finish the whole glass before setting the empty glass aside.

"T-thanks…" Lightning said, gasping a bit. It hurt to breathe now, no doubt her healing body strained from all the laughing. Hopefully it would settle down soon enough.

"Serah…" Lightning said in exasperation. "I think… *huff* … your fiancé… *huff* … wants to kill me." A smile formed on her lips.

"Serah, it's not like that! I swear!" There was such panic in Snow's voice when he looked at the younger Farron. But soon Snow realized that Lightning meant no harm and flashed a grin himself. "Oh I get it. Ha ha ha, very funny Sis."

Lightning could only smile more.

"Next time Mister" Serah said slapping Snow on the arm playfully. "Let me do the cooking. The last thing Lightning and I need is you blowing up her house."

"Yeah" Snow said scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. "Sorry about that Light. I was only trying to help out."

"I know" Lightning said. Another smile graced her face.

Feeling in a much lighter mood now (as compared to her and Snow's depressing talk earlier), Lightning's thoughts wandered over to the rest of her family. Were they alright? She obviously didn't fare too well against the beast. But Snow mentioned something about Serah going to check on everyone else. Were the others luckier than her?

"Serah, how are the others doing?" Aqua eyes focused on matching aqua eyes.

Serah pulled some locks of pink hair from her sister's face. "They're all fine. Hope is with his dad and Sazh with his son. They're a little worse for wear, but all alive and in one piece."

That was music to Lightning's ears. She sighed in relief knowing her family was safe (at least for the moment). They were home. That's what mattered. And two more were on the way. Looking up, Lightning caught Serah staring down at her blanketed body. "Serah, I'm sor-"

"Don't you ever do that again Claire! You hear me!?" Serah clutched Lightning's hand between her own, resting her forehead against it as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Serah…"

Snow gritted his teeth. This was obviously a touchy moment for the Farron sisters. Serah was absolutely terrified to the point of hysterics after they all made it back to town. She wouldn't let Lightning out of her sight. All that blood… and a ghastly pale Lightning… Without a doubt, that experience left her shook up pretty bad. Heck, it left him messed up. It was only through pure will power that he wasn't shaking right now. Over their journey as l'Cie, he had seen horrible, horrible things. But those bodies… and seeing Lighting limply on the ground there… Snow made a fist.

"Promise me Claire…" Serah choked, the tremble in her sister's voice tearing at Lightning's heart. "Promise me you'll never go out alone like that again..."

"Ser-"

"Promise me!"

"I promise Serah. I promise." Lightning squeezed her sister's hand.

Serah whimpered softly.

"Hey now" Snow said putting a hand on Serah's shoulder. "Don't cry Serah. Sis is strong." He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Besides, she's not alone. She has your Hero with her."

Snow pumped his fist into the air. "I'll make sure nothing happens to her. You can count on me baby." A wink.

Lightning's eyebrows went way up, before she inwardly sighed to herself. Just when she was starting to change her opinion of the oaf, he goes and says something like that. Lightning leaned back into her pillow and closed her eyes. She was tired.

"Thank you Snow" Serah said, turning around to hug the blonde around the stomach. "I know I could always count on you."

"You betcha."

_What about me?_ The soldier silently scoffed. If Lightning had her eyes open, she would have rolled them. Lightning was never good at that mushy stuff after all. It was… just… girly… And by no means was Lightning so girly. Lightning cracked her eyes open a bit at the touch of a hand on her forehead.

"You're not feverish anymore" Serah said smiling slightly. She moved her hand to Lightning's cheek to double check. "I was so worried when your fever didn't break the first day. Even after the seventeen potions we gave you."

Lightning blinked. _SEVENTEEN!?_ Lightning gawked at her sister. It was a lot worse than she had ever imagined. _Seventeen!?_ That was… that was just… _Seventeen?_ And she still felt like this? Lightning had a new appreciation of their faded magic skills. A pity they could no longer use them anymore. It would have really come in handy, especially if there were more of those twisted freaks out there. Just thinking about that thing again made her even more tired.

"You should get some more rest Claire" Serah said, pulling up the blanket a bit higher. She leaned over and kissed Lightning on the forehead. "I'll come and check on you again in a bit. Just get some rest, alright?"

Lightning smiled at her. "I will. Thank you Serah. Snow."

"Anytime Sis" Snow flashed his signature grin and gave her a thumbs up. "If you need anything, just yell. We won't be far."

Lightning nodded slightly before closing her eyes again. She was really tired.

As quiet as they could, Snow and Serah tiptoed their way to the door and opened it.

"Serah."

The younger Farron turned to look back at her sister.

"I'm sorry for making you cry."

"I'm fine Claire" Serah said giving her a soft smile. "Really. You on the other hand, focus on getting better. Because if you don't, I'll just have to torture you with something pink and frilly until you do."

Lightning immediately grimaced at the thought. Pink and frilly? Her hair was pink, but still. And frilly? Ugh…

"So you'll get better soon, right Claire?" There was a hint of mischief in that voice of hers.

"Be careful what you wish for Serah" Lightning said cracking a grin. "Because before you know it, I'll be up and about and then I'd like to see you try to get me into something pink and frilly. Pfft!"

"I accept your challenge Claire" Serah said with a teethy smile.

"Now this I gotta see" Snow punched his right fist into his left palm. "May the best sister win!"

The trio shared a chuckle before Snow and Serah let themselves out of Lightning's house and closed the door behind them. The light and cheerful mood of the pair immediately darkened when the door shut and they started to make their way back home. Their house was five doors down from Lightning's place, so it wouldn't be too much of a walk. The pair got halfway there before Serah stopped and spoke. "She didn't remember what happened, did she?"

Snow looked at his fiancé.

"Snow, I know that look. It's the look you have when there's more going on than you'd like to say."

Snow sighed. Serah could always read him like a book.

"What is it? What aren't you telling me?"

Snow scratched the back of his bandana. "I just got a bad feeling about things Serah."

"Is it about Claire?" Serah bit her lip, clenching her hands together and bringing them up to her chest.

Snow sighed again. "Yes and no" he replied.

When he didn't say anything afterwards for another good few seconds, Serah poked him in the chest. "Well? Out with it already!" If this had to do with her sister, she wanted to know. All of it. She wanted to protect Claire for a change and not be the one being protected. And to do that, she needed to know. Everything.

"Well…" Snow looked at the ground. "Light didn't seem to remember anything about summoning Odin…" he said, eyes going unfocused as he thought back. "But I'm not so much worried about that. After all, the first time our Eidolans appeared to each of us, we didn't exactly summon them either. They're funny… things… those Eidolans…"

Serah pursed her lips together tightly. "Then what is it? Is it that monster?"

"Well…"

"Snow! Please tell me. You're scaring me." The younger Farron clutched Snow's jacket, her head resting against his chest. She could hear his heart beating, faster than it normally would. And she didn't like that. She didn't like it one bit.

Snow was always the laid back, easy going, action oriented kind of guy. That's one of the things she loved about him. A guy that went with his heart. For him to suddenly start fussing over things like this, it couldn't be good.

"You remembered what happened to the thing after Odin killed it?"

"Yeah…" Serah said, a shiver going through her at the thought of the beast. "It just… dissolved into ash and was blown away by the wind." The smaller pink haired girl looked up, to the face of her future husband. His expression was tense. Pained.

"Snow? What's this all about?"

Snow made a fist. "That's what worries me" he said. There was a gravity to his voice, something that made Serah's heart sink. "Because there is only one thing that I know of, that we all know of, on Gran Pulse that does that when it dies."

Serah's heart skipped a beat. "What's that?"

"Cie'th."

**To be continued…**

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_**A/N:**__ I hope you all enjoyed this fanfiction. I am in the process of writing up the sequel to it, __**Tainted Fal'Cie**__. Updates to the sequel will be posted on a weekly basis. The sequel will further explain and explore things I've stirred up in this fanfiction, such as what that twisted Behemoth King was etc. I know I've spoiled everyone with the frequent posting for this one, but that was only because I had the week off to be able to focus on my writing. It's back to work for me now. XD_

_As for what's in store for Light and Fang in the sequel, I'm sorry to disappoint all the Flight fans out there, but Light and Fang will not be partnering up together. They are just really close friends. _

_Stay tuned for my next fanfiction within a week's time!_


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